The Heartfelt Words That I Could Not Say.

Hello everyone :)

This shall be my first post since we've entered the last month of 2012, December. This also will be a special post since I could not ignore the guilt that have been tormented me so. The guilt has always accompanied me ever since my semester break was over and when I was doing some things, it would always get me thinking about the unforgivable things I did... to this certain someone. Today is my little sister's birthday by the way and also... the person's, which explain the sudden outburst and me, deciding to finally pour it out here. To tell you the truth, the reason I want to write the things I will about to write is to hope that some way or another the person would come across it and know the reasons behind my ridiculous actions. 

First, I want to apologise to you for I believe... I have wronged you in so many ways. You have been so kind to me, been there for me during the times I needed someone to just hear me out and offered the words to comfort me. I, in all honesty, don't know how to reply that kindness or what to do with it! I had never been tied to anything or anyone and in the end, my selfishness and tendency to just vanish drive everyone away from me too-- including you. I wanted to talk to you, to tell you how sorry I am but I just don't possess the courage to say these things. I have always been a coward so I couldn't say the things that I wanted to say... too chicken to even wish you a great happy birthday. I can't say it directly to you... I just don't have the guts. I wanted to, I even came up with a cheesy poem since I'm such a cheeseball! Frankly, I was really looking forward toward this date. Tried painting something you like as a birthday present but well, uh, let's just say it didn't look as good as I had hoped. Point is, I want to apologise to YOU, for all the things that I've done to you (although I know it is too late to regret it but I do... regret it) and hope you could find in every fibre of your being to forgive me. And sorry that I don't have the guts to say these things to you. 

Oh, and thank you for the good times you've given me. I do hope we can talk again and have a great birthday. You are a kind person that should also receive nothing but kindness. :)
Despite my foolishness, it still doesn't change that you've been a great company to me and will always be.



In all honesty,
Aria.

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